Dear Christian: Don’t Make it Weird

Too often, we overcomplicate faith.

The truth is, it’s an amazing gift we’re given. One so big and unexpected that it blows most of us completely out of the water when we finally come to an understanding of what God has done. It seems unattainable, and yet we have it. Unbelievable, and yet it’s true.

It’s no wonder then, when we try to turn to another who is struggling to find it and pull them closer to understanding that we get all glitchy about it.

We typically panic in the moment because we realize the gravity of what’s at stake, while the person with us may not. We KNOW. And the knowledge that what we say or what we do next may make the difference–good or bad–in this person’s life, can paralyze us.

It’s in those moments that most Christians become weirdos.

  • We wrack our brains and pull from things we’ve seen others do in our lives that didn’t really work.
  • We remember what that televangelist said about how to be saved and we do our best to speak as eloquently as they did so that the process is appealing.
  • We might even get all fancy and start quoting Bible verses verbatim. Bible verses, mind you, that mean nothing to a non-believer because they don’t understand or even see the relevance of the Bible yet.

Again, Team Weirdo from their perspective.

It’s not that complicated, church.

In 1 Corinthians 2: 10-13, Paul speaks about how simple God makes it, in the midst of the Corinthians trying to make it as complicated and as much about themselves as humanly possible:

“God offers a full report on the gifts of life and salvation that he is giving us. We don’t have to rely on the world’s guesses and opinions. We didn’t learn this by reading books or going to school; we learned it from God, who taught us person-to-person through Jesus, and we’re passing it on to you in the same firsthand, personal way.”

We’ve got to stop making it so hard, friends. So. Weird. Putting ourselves out there like we are experts to all the hidden secrets in life when the truth is, we are only an inch ahead of non-believers. Still sinning. Still working our way through understanding. Still struggling at times to fully accept what’s been given to us.

Because more than a “good example” of what our faith looks like, new seekers to the faith need to see that Christians are just average, normal people, who serve an amazing God. A God who loves them, cares for them, and protects them–despite their many shortfalls.

Instead, we need to be talking to others person-to-person. Getting real about how we got to where we are in our faith. In other words, telling the truth.

The truth like:

  • The struggle we faced to take that first leap of faith
  • The past mistakes and huge life fails we had along our path to finding Jesus
  • Our continued mistakes that make us still rely on His grace every single day
  • The way we still struggle to find understanding about the same problems in the world that non-believers struggle to understand
  • The things in our lives that we had to remove–not because Jesus looked down on them–but because we personally couldn’t handle them properly
  • The struggle we still face, like Paul, to do the right thing in difficult situations
  • The pride we struggle with on a daily basis
  • The joy that growing closer to God can give you
  • The intimate friendship that is possible with God when you let your guard down
  • The unbelievable love we tangibly get from Him
  • The family you can find through the church and other Christians when you do the hard work of getting to know strangers you thought were weird in the beginning

At the end of the day, we can’t save other people. We can only serve as a glimpse into the lifestyle of a Christian. If we misrepresent ourselves, our struggles, and our actual lives, we make them feel as if the lifestyle is not attainable to everyone. The exact opposite of God’s heart.

Let God lead the situation. Let Him lead you through the conversation. Then point them back to Him, with the best gift you can give them: an honest friend to help them figure it all out.

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Have You Been Written Off as Not Christian Enough?


I’ve never been a soft-spoken Christian. Maybe that’s because I didn’t become one until I was thirty. When you go through that much life and then find Jesus, it kind of feels like you’re a little late to the party. I didn’t know the lingo. I didn’t act the same as other women. I was just happy to be there, you know?

Because of that, I’ve sometimes struggled with feelings of not really being Christian enough. And . . . truth be told, I’ve been called out for it online by someone who was in a ministry she felt competed with mine. (Um, that’s not a thing in the church–there’s room and need for everyone.)  I didn’t flower up my story when I told it. I didn’t guard my words when I talked about my past. And I didn’t hide things I did in my life as if they were suddenly unacceptable.

I just started living from a new point of view, living with a new purpose, and figured that was a very good thing for others to witness.

But there have been times in my nearly 18 years as a Christian that I’ve noticed the difference between me and them and became a little wobbly in my urge to live my faith honestly. It comes across when I’m around other believers who seem to be doing things so much better:

  • Maybe they pray more often, or more eloquently
  • Maybe they do more Bible studies or can quote Bible verses like a champ
  • Maybe they talk in the language of Christians so flawlessly that it makes me pause to translate my own thoughts into the same before I speak them outloud
  • Maybe their family of origin, their children, and everyone around them is also a Christian
  • Or maybe they just look at me as if I have a third eye when I say things about my life as if being normal and a Christian is, you know, normal

The truth is, our faith is a very personal thing. Personal, because it’s between us and God. There’s literally no one else involved.

Now, we can draw others in to our faith experience through the church, group gatherings, and the like. But at the end of the day–at the end of our life–it will be us and the Lord face to face. No one else will matter.

My grandmother use to have a saying that I’ve come to realize is one of the most profound truths in life:

What someone else thinks of you is none of your business.

We can’t get caught up in worrying about other Christians, or comparing our strengths and weaknesses as a Christian to them, when we are clearly called to something else. We can’t let the things about us that might cause the hairs to raise on the back of another Christian’s neck keep us from living our faith authentically..

God made you the way you are, brought you to the faith the way He did, and put you exactly where He intended for you to be–all for a reason. The way you are when you are being your truest self is a process, and if God is in that process, He can use every single bit of it. Not at the end of your life–when you are suddenly complete–but every single moment throughout.

  • When you are imperfect
  • When you don’t say or do the right thing
  • When you don’t handle your faith the same as others
  • When you don’t dress or look like the average Christian
  • When you don’t speak eloquently enough for some
  • When you show others the truth of your life and your messy process in faith
  • When you are the worst, rawest, version of yourself–and it’s not pretty

When you live your faith honestly, you’re not an outcast, you’re actually among good company:

In 1 Corinthians 1:26-31, Paul reminds us:

“Take a good look, friends, at who you were when you got called into this life. I don’t see many of “the brightest and the best” among you, not many influential, not many from high-society families. Isn’t it obvious that God CHOSE men and women that the culture overlooks and exploits and abuses, chose these ‘nobodies’ to expose the hollow-pretentions of the ‘somebodies’?

Maybe your imperfections, or rawness, or plain old weirdness is exactly what He is planning to use in the life of someone who is trying to understand the faith but can’t relate to other Christians. Maybe you are exactly what one person needs to come to Christ. If so, isn’t that serving Him well? Exactly as you are?

Christians that live transparently–in every aspect of their lives–have the most opportunity to share Christ with others in my opinion. They show the world that you don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to talk the talk. And you can totally crash at walking the walk–and still be not only deeply loved by God, but used for His purposes. It doesn’t mean that you grow complacent in your faith and allow things in that God clearly is trying to remove. But, you don’t have to cover up that process as if you are ashamed of it either. I mean, really, if the disciples had suddenly put themselves on a pedestal for the simple fact that they understood more than those who didn’t walk with Jesus, would they have brought as many to the faith?

So, if you get the feeling that other Christians are judging your walk, be glad! As followers, there’s nothing we can do or say to save or unsave another believer. Nothing we can do to hurt or help their salvation. That work has already been done.

But as we continue to grow in our faith and show our vulnerability and imperfections along the way, when we don’t pretend to have all the answers or act as if we are suddenly the MVP on Team Jesus, we have the possibility of actually doing what Jesus has called us to do: love others in such a way that they wonder about the role He plays in our life.

And that is the sign of a beautiful walk of faith with Jesus.

In Him,

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